We all want the best for our children. We want them to succeed and do well in life. But are we pushing them too much? Are we expecting too much of them and turning their lives into a competition? There have been discussions around parenting in recent years and the different styles that parents take. One such parent style is hyper parenting. Many parents may not realise that they are actually hyper-parenting their children and the effects that it might have on them.

What is hyper parenting?

Hyper parenting is a type of parenting that is becoming more prevalent in society. It originates from the perversion that education is the most important thing. It comes through in parenting as pushing your children into many different academic and social opportunities, over stimulating them and not giving them a chance to relax and be a kid.

Hyper parenting can show itself in many different ways. Including pushing your children into various activities that take up most of their time. Giving them additional academic work so that they are constantly learning. Or spending too much time with them, not allowing them a chance to do things on their own.

How is this a bad thing?

It might sound well and good. Encouraging your child to learn new things and to excel. However it can actually have a negative effect on them in a number of different ways.

If you are constantly over stimulating your child and not giving them any down time, it can cause them to become run down, exhausted and even bring on low moods and high stress.

Depression and anxiety can stem from the feelings of needing to impress you and achieve the highest level in all aspects of their lives in order for you to be proud of them.

Overstimulation can also have effects on their health. It can cause sleeping issues as the brain is not being given a chance to relax and wind down. It can also cause physical symptoms such as not eating or overeating to compensate for their feelings.

Letting your child have moments of boredom and time on their own will benefit them more than constantly being by their side with their next activity lined up.

What are the benefits of boredom?

Hearing your child complaining that they are bored isn’t fun. But it is a great way to help them develop various skills. Boredom can help to develop the imagination and the creative side of the brain. If they are bored and don’t have any activities lined up, they are then having to think about what to do. They can use their imaginations and experiment with pretend play. Or they can get creative and come up with something to do themselves.

Boredom can also help with independence and learning how to do things with autonomy. Which is an important skill to learn before they head into their adult lives.

What should I be doing?

Hyper parenting isn’t something that parents tend to choose to do. It can stem from their own personal experiences or simply wanting the best for their child.

Rather than pushing them into all the different activities and striving for success with everything, encourage them.

Let them choose things that they are interested in and encourage them to do well. Explain that they do not need to be the best, only that they try their best.

Help them to see that it is not a competition and that as long as they are enjoying themselves and having fun, that is all that matters.

It can be hard to let your children go. Spending quality time with them is important, but they need time on their own as well. So give them a chance to be on their own. Let them come up with their own ideas on what they want to do, and let them go. They will learn so much more and benefit greatly from being independent and turning their boredom around on their own.

Parenting is a tough gig. There are so many different things to learn and develop. Just remember, it’s a journey, not a race. Take your time. Look at the bigger picture and focus on providing an environment that they are comfortable and happy in.